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The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion, by Elle Luna
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Who hasn’t asked the question “How can I find and follow my true calling?” Elle Luna frames this moment as “standing at the crossroads of Should and Must.” “Should” is what we feel we ought to be doing, or what is expected of us. “Must” is the thing we dream of doing, our heart’s desire. And it was her own personal journey that inspired Elle Luna to write a brief online manifesto that, in a few short months, has touched hundreds of thousands of people who’ve read it or heard Elle speak on the topic. Now Ms. Luna expands her ideas into an inspirational, highly visual gift book for every recent graduate, every artist, every seeker, every career changer.
The Crossroads of Should and Must has a universal message—we get to choose the path between Should and Must. And it gives every reader permission to embrace this message. It’s about the difference between jobs, careers, and callings. The difference between going to work and becoming one with your work. Why knowing what you want is often the hardest part. It gives eye-opening techniques for reconnecting with one’s inner voice, like writing your own obituary (talk about putting life in perspective). It talks about the most common fears of choosing Must over Should—money, time, space, and the ultimate fear: total vulnerability—and shores up our hesitation with inspiring stories of and quotes from the artists and writers and thinkers who’ve faced their own crossroads of Should and Must and taken the leap. It explains the importance of mistakes, of “unlearning,” of solitude, of keeping moving, of following a soul path.
Presented in four chapters—The Crossroads, The Origin of Should, Must, and The Return—inspired by the hero’s journey outlined by Joseph Campbell, The Crossroads of Should and Must guides us from the small moment, discovering our Must, to the big moment—actually doing something about it, and returning to share our new gifts with the world.
- Sales Rank: #7797 in Books
- Brand: WORKMAN PUBLISHING
- Published on: 2015-04-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.10" h x .70" w x 6.10" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 176 pages
- Workman Publishing
Review
"So much greatness and it's all right here!"
Elizabeth Gilbert, author Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things
"Elle's infectious enthusiasm will inspire you to do the boldest thing you can in life: be your true self."
Evan Williams, co-founder Twitter; founder Medium
"How to turn that invisible inner fire into fuel for soul-warming bliss is what artist and designer Elle Luna explores in her essay-turned-book The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion — an intelligent and rousing illustrated manifesto that picks up where Campbell left off, in the spirit of Parker Palmer’s emboldening guide to letting your life speakand Debbie Millman’s visual-essay-turned-commencement-address on courage and the creative life"
Maria Popova, Brain Pickings
"Inspiring."
The Miami Herald
"This artist and author's inspiring advice might just persuade you to leave your day job."
Shape Magazine
“This was the most inspiring book I read in 2015. It's an illustrated, easy read based on a blog post that went viral, but the inspirational message it contains is very powerful. It's a must-read for anyone considering shaking up the status quo or following a dream and how to deal with the real-life consequences that follow."
The Huffington Post
About the Author
Elle Luna is a designer, painter, and writer. She also runs a textile venture, the Bulan Project, a collaboration between designers and master batik artists in Bali, and has previously worked as a designer at IDeo and with teams on apps and websites, including Medium, Mailbox’s iPhone app, and Uber. Ms. Luna speaks to groups around the world sharing the story of “The Crossroads of Should and Must,” and lives in San Francisco and online at elleluna.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Publish
It was a Tuesday around 7A.M. when I clicked “Publish” on an essay on Medium.com titled “The Crossroads of Should & Must.”
We share things online. Every day. All the time. But something about this thing was different. So different, that in a few short weeks, it was tweeted to over five million people and read by over a quarter million readers.
“Drop everything you’re doing and read this right now,” one woman posted. “This article changed my life,” wrote another. “I was about to send it to all of my employees,” wrote one CEO, “but I assumed that a third of them would quit if they read it. But you know what? If they don’t want to be here, I want them to quit—so I sent it.”
The emails poured in. The tweets lit up my phone. The article spread through the Web in a flash, and then flashed some more. It continued to shine and grow and, well, here we are. I decided to write this book because of the people who shared their stories with me and the pain and courage I felt in their struggle. Women in their thirties. Men in their twenties. A high school senior. Fathers. A widow. Single moms. Millionaires who were poor. Poor people who were millionaires. Teachers. Lawyers. A musician disguised as a lawyer. A poet who loved to drive a city bus. Women who didn’t want kids. Fathers who wanted to raise kids. People who felt stuck in their jobs and people who were so desperately grateful to have a job at all.
The pain cut across gender, location, and age. And at its essence, the pain was this—
All too often, we feel that we are not living the fullness of our lives because we are not expressing the fullness of our gifts.
I heard from people who seemed willing to do anything to make their dissatisfaction go away, but they didn’t know what to do. I wrote this book to share what I have found most helpful in navigating my own journey, as well as what has been most helpful for the people I met. However, you’re not holding a book of answers, because only you know those; you’re holding a collection of the most effective questions I encountered along the way. Think of these pages as a series of doorways designed so that you can choose which way your journey will go.
These pages are a pep talk to honor that voice inside of you that says you have something special to give. It’s a reminder that while there is no map for where you’re going, many have traveled this road before. It’s permission to unlearn everything you’ve ever been told you should do in order to learn what you must.
It’s 11:55 a.m. on a Thursday, and I’m clicking “Save” on this document one final time before it begins its adventure into the world. In my own life, I’ve found that things appear at the ideal time. Not before. And not after. Consider the possibility that this book made its way into your hands because you wanted it to. Because a part of you has seen a crossroads in your life, and you’re ready for the journey ahead. I am humbled and grateful that these words will find their way from me to you, somehow, in some way, at just the right time. Thank you for being a part of this wild and wondrous journey. From one fellow traveler to another—Godspeed.
Elle
October 23, 2014
San Francisco, CA
Most helpful customer reviews
96 of 98 people found the following review helpful.
getting to "must" - for artists
By Arnold
I don’t usually read self-help books, but the title of “Should and Must” spoke to a personal dilemma I was having at the time it came out. To some extent, the book helped me clarify my thinking. It gave me encouragement for some of my decisions and forced me to reconsider others. To some extent, that’s probably the most important thing I can say in this review. Still, I had some other thoughts about the book after thinking about it for a while.
For those who hadn’t read Elle’s essay, “The Crossroads of Should and Must” is about helping people overcome societal obligations and other barriers in order to achieve their passion. I don’t think the book breaks any new psychological ground, but what’s distinctive about it is the style. This isn’t a book filled with prose. Instead, it’s actually a piece of art. Every page has unique drawings, colorful script, markings, etc. It really drives home the optimistic message and definitely makes it more memorable.
That said, the very design of the book tells you much about its intended audience – artists. Elle seems to be talking primarily to struggling artists. The examples she mentions are Picasso, Philip Glass, John Grisham, etc. Many of her ideas for finding your “must” involve paints, paper, etc. Computers are bad. If your “must” is to become a doctor, a president, etc., you’ll probably find that this book doesn’t speak to you as much. For me, I was looking at a writing career, so I probably fell within the target audience, but barely.
I was also a bit surprised that, aside from the author’s own story, all of the examples in the book were of famous people. I know for me that one of the most intimidating aspects of “getting to must” is the recognition that I’ll probably never measure up the greats in my calling. Why try if you can only pale in comparison? I know as an aspiring artist I wouldn’t want Picasso as a standard. Instead, I’d like to learn more about how ordinary people found their “must.” What does it mean to have found your calling but to not become a celebrity in your field? That’s much more relatable and in many ways manageable.
Quibbles aside, this book did help me. I’m going to take some of its advice to heart and hopefully start finding my calling. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I can recommend this as a short, easy read that might change your life.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
The book I didn't know I needed.
By Evan Le
Heard about Elle Luna through Chase Jarvis's 30 Days of Genius video series. Her personality was captivating, so I wanted to check out her book.
The book is an art piece. A very useful one at that, as it got me thinking about a lot of things in my life -- from my fantasies to my jobs/careers/callings. I think going through these exercises are so helpful to understanding who you are.
That's one of life's joys, right? Discovering who you are and what you're capable of.
Though I felt it was overly spiritual at times, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I think this book applies to creatives and pretty much anyone whether you consider yourself an artist or not. Give it a read! Maybe Elle will help you find your Must.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Have your kids read this
By 212consulting
Quick insightful read on how to dream big and yet do something today that can get you one step closer to your dream!
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